Where does your writing originate from?
My writing originates from deep within. Those things the average person will find difficult to talk about. Pain and shame often locks a person up inside. It’s a real tug of war to get to where you feel comfortable about expressing yourself. My writing comes from that struggle.
My heart and soul convinced me that in order to let go of pain I had to talk about it. I mean really talk about it. Verbally it was hard, so I decided to write it all down. I wrote the pain out of my life in poetic form at first. I’d written poetry since a young girl and even won some contests. Winning with a poem during Black History month during high school really proved to me that I was a good writer.
Eventually sharing my poetry at open mics and self publishing my first works, A Blackgurl’s World, It Ain’t Easy Being Me, led to wonderful comments from people. It took others to convince me that my poetry was great. Then, they saw through me, saying it told a bigger story and I wrote Diary.
How did you come up with the concept of A Blackgurl’s World and/or Diary of ABlackgurl?
For all of my blackgurl life I have been raised with the concept that the image of a whitegurl or a light skin African American girl was prettier. How things are presented to you, right or wrong becomes your way of life until the cycle is broken. I recall being called blackgurl in a negative respect by my own family members. I have the darker complexion of my dad; my mom and sister are light skin. It wasn’t until I grew up that I learned I was beautiful in my dark skin. So, I took a negative and made it a positive.
Your book is semi-personal. How do you feel about exposing yourself to everyone?
I feel really good. I mean, there are things you rather folks not know about you, but some things need to be told. I feel good because I’m hopeful it will reach someone that needs to read Diary. You become sick and tired of letting personal matters limit your being. Everything is not a secret even if it is bad. I basically wrote reacting to pain. It’s not just my pain. It’s the pain of many. Yes, I witnessed domestic violence and became a victim of an unfaithful marriage, but my characters in Diary are so many other people as well. Writing A Blackgurl’s World and now Diary was, absolutely, my comeback from a setback. I don’t think I could have gone on in life living everyday knowing certain unhealthy events took place in my life and they were kept a secret. I was compelled to share bits and pieces of the experience so that I could let go. Once I did, I felt like a load had been lifted. I’m finally moving beyond those chapters of my life. Lord knows I had searched long and hard for ways to overcome the hurt and pain I’d seen in my life since childhood. I acknowledge the importance of protecting the privacy of self and others, but some matters only get worse until you expose them. That which I share is not meant to harm anyone or myself. I personally don’t mind people getting to know me now. I’m not shame of anything anymore. #liveoutloud
Do you have any concerns about your book?
There are concerns but I’m not overly concerned about anything. I don’t expect everyone to appreciate Diary or me. But, I do hope that Diary inspires someone to move beyond a bad situation. Come to the realization that life is what you make it regardless of the pitfalls.
What is your motivation?
My daughters, close friends and family motivate me. My greatest satisfaction in life is hearing them tell me they are proud of me and that they love me. If it weren’t for my daughters I would never have tackled my fears. Knowing that they had to learn about life through me forced me to do something about the negative things in my life. I didn’t want them to learn the wrong things from me. I wanted to teach them to love themselves first and not settle for anything that didn’t feel right. They need to know that they have choices, so I had to present them with some.
How do you think the book will affect the lives of people who read it?
I personally feel it will make people feel something. I can’t tell you what they will feel because everyone is different and are affected in different ways. I do guarantee that it will change whoever reads it in some way big or small.
